To The Friends I’ve Lost

Dear Past Relationships,

It was always my goal to give my 100%. For years, I’ve hoped that someone else I enjoyed spending time with would like me enough to give me their 100%, too.

Common interests was what used to hold those times of closeness together, and in the times in between, I’d remember the little things about each person.

I’d write down their birthdays as soon as they told me the date. I’d reach out to them to see how they were doing if I hadn’t heard from them in a while. I’d let them know I cared for them when they were sick or hurting.

I longed to find someone, honestly just one person, that could feel the same way about me that I do about people. I enjoy making people smile and laugh; I love knowing that my companionship means something to someone else; I adore being the person who’s willing to listen to what they’re going through and then be there for them.

I’ve done my best, since I was a preteen, to be loving and kind toward my “friends” …

And maybe that’s the issue.

I don’t dump my problems on my friends. I don’t push the courtesy limits and wait to respond to someone when they reach out to me. I don’t wait for months to send them presents, and I certainly don’t forget their birthdays.

I don’t take out a bad day on the people I care about, and maybe that’s what sets me apart.

Maybe people think I care too much, and that my signs of affection point toward clinginess, that I’m too good to be true. Do they really think I have ulterior motives? If they’d only see the person behind the screen who simply wants to be kind to others, maybe they’d understand.

Then again, maybe they don’t want to.

The friendships I’ve lost are not because the second party died. If any death happened, it was the abrupt and painful end of a friendship. People struggle to care for me like I care for them.

The only comfort I find during times like this is when I’m in the arms of my Savior. He is the One Who continually loves me, through every season of my life. He makes me feel special, wanted, set apart, and most of all, noticed. I don’t have to worry about how He sees me, because I know His care, mercy, and grace are eternal – they are pure and everlasting.

Countless times, I’ve given up on people … but the Lord will never give up on me.

I don’t want to deny friendships for good, but boy, do I feel close to doing so sometimes. I’ve learned to care for people until they no longer like or need me, which is a pretty tough place to be.

The hardest part of losing all these friendships is the fact that I did my best to keep them alive. I’d put in 200% at times, sacrificing my peace in one last attempt to give the other party the chance to resuscitate our relationship, only to find out they really didn’t care.

One thing I know for sure is this: I’m not going to let this reality of my life make my heart grow hard. I’m not going to allow this deep pain to change the fact that I want to care for people, that I care for them as long as they’ll let me. I’m going to rely on the Lord’s strength when someone’s unkindness starts to get to me … I won’t allow this world to make me mean.


I had to write this this morning to let out some of the pain that’s been on my heart these last several hours. Losing a friend will never get easier for me, and I was deeply saddened to see this one end.

Your comments would be much appreciated. 💖

37 Comments

  1. I’m so sorry, Maggie. Losing friends is hard. I’ve lost a couple best friends throughout the years and while I still think of them, it does get easier as time goes on. It’s kind of weird though from going to telling each other everything to just strangers with memories.

    As I talking to one of my closer friends the other day, and we got on the topic of a girl we used to be really good friends with, but then she cut us out of her life all of the sudden. My friend went on to say that while it hurt, we actually ended up meeting because of her. ( We were both friends with the girl that cut us out and we met at her birthday party ) So while it’s sad how everything went down, there’s still good that came out of it. 🙂

    Ok, this got long 😂 Your writing is just beautiful and I am so sorry that you lost someone ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Maddy ❤ It certainly is. I'm glad to hear that 🙂 The thing about losing friends is that new ones always come around, so it's easier to let them go.

      I'm so glad you two met through her, even though neither of you know her anymore. It's awesome that you're focusing on the positive!

      No worries, haha – I love longer comments! Aww thanks Maddy. I honestly appreciate it ❤

      Like

  2. Aw, Maggie. 😦 I am so sorry. This touched my heart. Reading this made me feel like I was reading my own rants. I struggle in the same way you do. ❤ I love loving others, but others never seem to do the same to me, and it is really hard. Praying for you!! ❤ If you ever need someone to talk to I am here for you, love! 😘🙏🏼💕

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you ❤ ❤ It slowly gets easier as time passes 🙂 People really struggle to return the kindness others show to them sometimes, which is painful to the ones who are so giving. We both deserve to know people who like us back, lol! Thank you for the prayers, and I truly appreciate that! *hugs*

      Like

  3. Aww girly!!! 💞💚💖 I’m sending you much love & hugs; you don’t deserve for one of your friendships to end. You are one of the sweetest people ever, so I don’t get how people can’t see how you are & always will be so caring towards them. You deserve a person in your life that will always be there for you when you are there for them. 💙 I know what you’re feeling & I really hope that you’ll find your ‘forever’ best friend, as cliche as that sounds. Keep your head up and remember I and a tonne of other bloggers are here for you. Love, Autumn x

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I won’t lie, for a second I really thought you peeked into my journal. But then you still praised God and I knew that there was no way I could’ve written that. It’s hard! You feel like you’re the only one who cares about your friendship, and then the other person’s not as… receptive and maybe you should stop caring. Which is what I did. Thank you for continuing to be a light for God even when this is just painful and hard and you still believe God is good. I don’t know how you do it! But.. I’m grateful to you for it. 🙂
    I know internet friendships can be risky and hard, but I like ’em. I’ve found true people who help bring me back to God.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh woww, that’s crazy! I’m glad I could bring a positive light to it. ❤ It's hard to focus on the good sometimes, especially when someone has just hurt my feelings … but ultimately, I always come back around to trusting the Lord. 🙂 It will always be my pleasure!
      Ugh, definitely, but I've found a lot of gems over the years. ❤ That's awesome!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Wow… I can relate so much to this. Have you been spying on me?? Because TODAY is the day I needed this post, thank you from the bottom of my heart!!!

    Like you, I’ve always tried my best to be a good friend… someone kind, who thinks of my friends even when they don’t think of me. I’ve tried to be open and friendly, while it feels like they wear a mask around me. And I don’t know why. I’m the one who always thinks to email or text friends I don’t see very often, but sometimes I wish they would think to check on me.

    But it makes me all the more grateful for the true friends I do have, the friends who don’t wear a mask and who therefore make me feel more like myself.

    God bless!! I think you and I would be good friends irl. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww it always blesses me when the timing of a post is right on!! ❤ I'm so glad this inspired you!

      I think that in this day and age, people think that nice people are the way they are for personal gain. -_- Like wow, I can't be nice because you think I'm going to hurt you in the end?? Then they end up hurting me! It's a wild cycle of abandonment and sadness … but there will always be those few that when you open up to them, they're just as good a friend back. ❤ They're one of the main reasons I keep loving people!

      Amen to that! It's a beautiful thing when we can be ourselves.

      God bless you too, Kendra! Most definitely 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I’m sorry. Loosing friends is hard and we all go through it. This was a beautiful letter and I actually learnt some things from it. We are all here with you to support you when others don’t. Keep being strong and you will get through it. 💕😊

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Thanks for your heartfelt post. Sadly, I am one of those people who is not a very good friend, not because I don’t want to be but because I don’t understand social settings very well, so I may be that person who doesn’t phone you back, doesn’t invite you out, etc. but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with you, it just means I’m not sure how to do “friends”. I’m sad that I don’t understand “social” and “friends” but I do now understand love, thanks to knowing God. I found this on another persons blog and thought you may like it. Blessings to you. https://josephsdailywalkwithjesus.wordpress.com/2018/11/19/true-christian-love-must-be/

    Liked by 1 person

    1. And thank you for your comment. You’ve brought an interesting perspective to this topic – I’m happy to have learned more about the opposite side of this issue. I know it’s a struggle for many. I’ve also struggled with social anxiety at times, especially when meeting new people when I was younger.
      It becomes increasingly easier to love others when we know God! Thank you for the link, I’ll be sure to check it out.
      Thanks again for commenting!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Aww I feel this. I’ve started to let go depending on others and being careful with friendships. I’m thankful for all the friends I have and I’m not gonna lie, friends make life more enjoyable sometimes but yes, if you ever feel lonely – all friends come and go but God will forever be there for you in this life and next. I try to be a great friend in person but when it comes to keeping up with multiple at a time, it gets hard to stay in touch. Just know that people still care even when they don’t show it constantly. We’re all here for you Maggie! ❣️ I’m so glad you have taken these thoughts and altered them into something empowering we can all learn from. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, learning to appreciate people for who they are without depending on them for our emotional well-being is a process! Amen ❤ Yup, too many friends means we have to divide our attention, which usually means we pick the people we enjoy spending time with over the others (which is how it should be, but then acquaintances sometimes get left behind). Aww thank you!! I'm so glad this post was well received ❤

      Like

  9. Aww Maggie I’m so sorry you had to lose a friend-that’s always super painful 😦 I’m in the same boat, sometimes I hang on to people way longer than they hang on to me, or I invest way more in a relationship that doesn’t end up working. There’s all sorts of relational issues that Satan likes to throw at us, but thankfully you have God in mind! His love is always there for us, how incredible 🙂 Love you Maggie, praying for you! Always here if you want to talk! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Isabel! ❤ It definitely gets easier as time goes on and I meet new people. 🙂 Yeah, learning when to let go of people is a real challenge! Most definitely, and yes, He's the only reason I can stay positive about it! ❤ Aww thank you, Isabel!

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Aw Maggie, I’m so sorry! Losing a friend is really hard and it hurts the most! Reading this post, I realized something that my youth community always teaches me and that is to continue loving without all the what-ifs and expectations to be loved in return. Loving is a huge sacrifice and let’s be willing to love one another because it is all we really need for the world. Thanks for sharing this post and I have certainly missed you! 💖 Let’s continue loving!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Sorry to hear this Maggie! I can really feel ya since I’ve lost friends along the way and it really made me so disappointed. But I realized that people like us who really are genuine and put so much effort into maintaining friendships really deserve so much better and our efforts should be reciprocated. GOD always closes doors for people who don’t understand our value and opens doors with the people who really care for us and know our true worth. I’m thankful to have you as one of my good friends during this blogging journey and hoping you get many more true and genuine friends in the future hun ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww thank you! Yes, it will always be hard, although I think that the people who leave us are saving us a lot of trouble. If we stayed friends with them for longer, it would wreak havoc in our hearts and lives! Aww thanks Maha, I feel the same way about you. 🙂 ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Maggie I’m so sorry! I can completely empathise with losing friends – I’ve just lost two of my really close friends quite recently. It is so hard when you pour yourself into a friendship and the other person just isn’t as invested. Praying for you! You’re not alone the Lord will never leave or forsake you ❤❤ xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Amelia ❤ I’m sorry to hear you’ve gone through the same thing!! I definitely agree. Thanks girl, I’ll be praying for you too – I’ll be here for you!

      Like

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