Hi there! I hope you’re having a fantastic day! 💚✨ One of the things that has been on my mind a lot lately, as you might know, is Guatemala. It’s funny, because there have been ups and downs in how much I think about it. Its significance in my life has changed more than once, and it continually impacts my relationship with the Lord, as well as the decisions I make every day.
Some days, Guatemala feels like something in the distant future – something much too far away to be considering or dwelling on now.
Then there are other days, more thoughtful days, when my thoughts are wandering in the completely opposite direction.
Some days, I feel like I’m going to Guatemala very soon.
By now, I have grown used to these fluctuations in how much (or little) I’m praying over this country. Nearly two years of dreaming about it has gotten me completely used to the idea and open to all of the possibilities.
One thing that has been different about this time of thinking and praying about it actually began yesterday.
I began to see that I will need to change before I go to Guatemala.
One thing I’ve never shared on my blog before is the fact that I’m a pessimist. It’s a very real fact about myself. I’m able to be optimistic and hopeful about little things, but when it comes to the larger, more important aspects of my life – new situations I should be hoping for the best in – I expect and plan for the absolute worst, just in case it ever were to happen. My default mindset has become extremely negative, just because a few situations have let my hopes down over the course of my life.
It’s something that I’m slowly recognizing and coming to terms with. I may write more about it in a future post. ❤
So, when Joshua and I were planning to visit a new church, I did not allow myself to get my hopes up – at all. I walked through the doors of that building expecting negativity instead of hoping and praying for positivity.
You’ll understand, then, why the staff and church-goers’ kind words and welcoming spirit absolutely shocked me!
It is essential that I get to the point where I can cautiously enter a new situation, without being emotionally opposed to it. It feels so good to be optimistic and hopeful, but I also don’t want to allow my happiness to rest in temporary things. The Lord is teaching me how to release this condition of mine to Him, because I know that I will be healed in His loving hands. ❤
Another thing I’d like to mention is my future witness on the mission field. I hadn’t thought about it before, but it is more than possible that I’d feel completely inadequate and ill-equipped to be doing the work I’d be flying to Guatemala to do, which would be an awful situation for everyone involved, including myself. I have no idea how much of a toll mission work takes on someone physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
It would absolutely break me to jump into this passion head-first, unwilling to see the fact that I need more strength, in different areas of my life, before I go serving the Lord in another country.
I knew that the one place I needed to look for strength, assurance, and rest is in His hands. Here is what I learned:
- I will be ready for Guatemala emotionally when I have learned how to love people and view circumstances without putting my entire heart into it;
- I will be ready for Guatemala financially when the Lord provides the necessary funds, at the perfect time in my life.
- I will be ready for Guatemala mentally after I’ve figured out the best ways to guide my thinking, to change my thought patterns and prayers to match what’s on my heart.
- I will be ready for Guatemala physically when He knows it is time for me to go – I won’t have to worry about illness, injuries, infirmities, or anything else that may hinder me.
- I will be ready for Guatemala circumstantially when the perfect time has come for me to share my Heavenly Father’s love with and for the people of Guatemala. ❤
He knows what I need,
and He knows when I’ll be ready.
Thank you so very much for reading! 💚 Wishing you a blessed day ☺️✨