By Grace Alone

The title of this post is based off the first lyric of a song I have loved for the past few months.

By grace alone,
somehow I stand,
where even angels fear to tread …

Invited by redeeming love,
Before the throne of God above …

Last night was by far the hardest night I have ever spiritually faced. I had come back into my bedroom to prepare for bed after having a conversation with my brother, and I could not have felt any further from the Lord.

What I had talked about with my brother left me feeling completely drained, because of where I had unintentionally veered the conversation. The more I said, the less I felt there is purpose in my life … and the more I believed there never would be.

He pulls me close,
with nail-scarred hands …
into His everlasting arms.

Many of the things I have desired and still desire in this life seem to take long periods of time to come to fruition. I ache from waiting, and struggle to see the beautiful, long thought-out reasons the Lord causes me to wait for things, to be still before Him and know that He is God.

I am constantly at a crossroad. Both ways lead to what I desire, but one is an agreeable distance, and the other seems to go on for miles. In fact, the latter seems to have no end, not one that is in sight, anyway. That’s the path the Lord calls me down, to trust in Him and the waiting.

Related Post: Cultivating A Joyful Life | Happy In The Waiting

Going my way – down the shorter path – will get me what I want right now, no strings attached. Or … so I think. I can’t fathom unforeseen details, situations and circumstances that only He knows.

So why can’t I trust Him?

When condemnation grips my heart,
and Satan tempts me to despair …
I hear the Voice that scatters fear …
the great I AM, the Lord, is here.

I hung back from writing this post this afternoon. I sat down at my desk to write, and couldn’t get what happened last night out of my head. I knew that to follow His leading, I had to be sharing this post today.

After that conversation with my brother, and I was alone in my room, something had changed. Everything in my room looked the same … because it was me that had changed. My eyes threatened tears, but none came.

I was deeply upset by the state of my life, mainly how I look at my future, which I often feel is nonexistent. The things I desire to be and have right now, are not present in my life, and I often convince myself they never will be.

I was so far in my thinking from the plans the Lord has that I had led myself to the edge of everything I know to be true.

I felt absolutely empty. The cup King David describes in Psalm 23 as running over … mine contained not even a single drop.

And it scared me.

There is a verse in Hebrews that has stuck with me for a very long time. The ending says this:

“…He [Jesus] was heard because of His reverence toward God [His godly fear, His piety, in that He shrank from the horrors of separation from the bright presence of the Father.” – Hebrews 5:7

During the times that I feel alone, because I have stepped so far away from my Lord and Savior, I feel empty and horrified. Being separated from that light … I am convinced that I have never felt anything more draining.

But it didn’t last long.

Oh, praise the One …
Who fights for me …
and shields my soul eternally.

He understands my shortcomings and everything that affects me. He knows absolutely everything there is to know about me – including the highest and lowest points in my entire life. He is fully equipped to lead me through the darkest valleys and across the mountain peaks of my existence … and through all the chaos, every tear I have ever said and every raw emotion that has seared through my conscience … He has been there through it all.

My life is full of many things … but I never desire disbelief to be one of them.

His extraordinary patience, love, and mercy is the reason I am not burdened by last night. He is the sole reason why my faith didn’t crash into the depths of hell at midnight on a sad Tuesday. When I found myself crying before falling asleep as I brought everything before Him, it was because of a release. He picked up the heavy weight that was on my shoulders and took them upon His own.

He is with us. And when we desire His love more than anything else, He always will be. If it takes me my entire life to realize that His plans for me are only good, I will still chase after Him with all that I am … for He is worthy of all my praise and so much more. By His grace alone is why I still stand.

I am honestly not sure how to end this post, as I am in tears yet again. ❤ But I would love to know in the comments below:

What times has the Lord brought you through?

— Maggie

47 thoughts on “By Grace Alone

  1. I’m so sorry you’re struggling so much at the moment, and I can imagine that feeling at a crossroads spiritually would be more than a little stress-inducing. I’m not religious so I perhaps can’t offer much in terms of religious guidance and support, but I can offer a hug. We’re here, we hear you, we believe you’ll choose the right path and way forward for yourself. Take care of yourself Maggie…xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so very much, Caz. *hugs* I appreciate your hug, and support, as well 🙂 Yes, sadly there is great stress in all of our lives, but I know that the Lord is helping me through everything that I face. Thank you for your encouragement! xx

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I am sorry you are struggling, Maggie. I have gone through many traumatic experiences involving my parents not getting along because my dad has anger issues, last year it went farther than anyone knew it could…I understand, Maggie. I hope one day I can be a vessel which you can pour your emotions into:)

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Hi Maggie, I sorry that you had a hard time on Tuesday but I’m glad you sought comfort from God and that He heard you. Your post touched me because in affirmed something I felt inspired in my spirit to share today. Your struggle as a Child of God is real and the thing is, we will always have moments in our life that cause us to wonder and test our growth in Christ but we must always trust that God’s plan for our lives is greater than anything we can forge for ourselves. Don’t let what is before your eyes discourage you. I literally just wrote a post today called Stop Pushing and Start Pulling and I would like to share it with you. I ask God that it bless you as you read. Here’s the link:

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you so much, Cherylene. ❤ I am eternally grateful that He heard my cry; I don't know what I would have done without Him. 🙂 I cannot tell you how much of a blessing this comment was to me! I felt so lost last night, but you're right, it was a time of trial, not the direction my life was taking. In that moment, He still had a plan. ❤ I would love to go read and comment on that post. I will as soon as I have a moment! Thank you so much again, Cherylene!

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Your posts always bring me back to what’s important at the end of my day (: it’s great to read over the verses you attach and reflect on moments throughout my past week- I hope that you always find yourself close to Christ, especially in times that bring you to tears. He is with us xoxo

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I’m so sorry Maggie. I have felt this many times in my walk with God. We all must face things we never want to face. But to answer your question God is bringing me through hard situation at work right now. I am at a crossroads and I have to decide whether to stay at my job or to find another job. I’ve been reading my Bible and just waiting for the Lord to give me some direction. My mom and so many others like yourself have told me that you are praying for me and I feel the prayers. I know God will do what he’s going to do I just don’t know what that is and I don’t know what to do. I know what I want to do, but I don’t know what to do. Just remember that you are loved not only by God, but your family and friends, and your beautiful family here on WordPress. I pray you find a way through this darkness. You are loved my beautiful one. You truly are.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, there are things that are hard to face, but they are truly what will lead us to where we’re supposed to be. 🙂 It is my hope that you will know exactly what to do with your job when the time comes – you’ll know it when it feels right! The Lord will provide. Thank you so much for that sweet reminder, Kathleen ❤ May God bless you!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Amen. I agree. They do lead us where are supposed to be. They always do. I think God does it that way so that we are absolutely certain that God is the one doing everything not us. He wants us to know it’s Him doing it and not someone else. Thank you I think so. Yes I do believe he will provide. Thank you for that reminder. You’re so welcome. That’s what we sisters in Christ and friends do for each other. We lift each other up and help each other. We girls need to stick together. Thank you and may He bless you as well!

        Liked by 1 person

  6. This raw honesty reminds me of Jeremiah, and Maggie, I think you are a Jeremiah kind of person. You are in the prime of youth, and people sometimes misunderstand you, and what God puts on your heart. Not only that but you see huge plans God had laid upon you, and you’re confused about direction (I hear you sister, amen, I am there as well).

    Through all this, you remind me of the book of Lamentations. Jeremiah pours his heart out, and questions God, wondering why he has to go through destruction and pain. Yet, he never forgets God. God is hope. He is light. He was always there, and He will continue to be there. Jeremiah found strength through God’s truth.

    These deep times and distant times can be some of the most powerful moments of a growing faith. The further you get to Christ, the more you will be mentally and spiritually attacked. It’s like a flower that continues to grow against wind and storm.

    You will bloom ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This comment was such a blessing to me, girl ❤ Thank you for reading and sharing this. Oftentimes, the things I go through remind me of what different people in the Bible experienced, which is a beautiful reassurance to me, because the Lord led those people to victory! They were unable to lament and be sorrowful for long – He was with them and rescued them. ❤ The Lord does not allow us to hurt for no reason. There is reason for the pain 🙂 aww thank you so much again xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Praying that God wraps you in His love and that He makes His presence known to you in an incredible way in the coming days… providing you with the comfort and encouragement that you need as you wait on Him! Love and hugs to you, dear Maggie!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. What a beautiful post! ❤ Loved it! I sometimes feel… strange? and when I just pray and talk to God, I feel really better. It's fantastic that He helps us and loves so much! ❤
    Have a good weekend, Maggie! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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