When I think, I think too much.
Things and situations, trials and circumstances …
They stay on my mind for far too long.
I’ll take something simple that I should hope for the best in …
But I analyze it instead.
I’m cynical and pessimistic; I see the worst in myself.
I ruin positive situations and strengthen the anxiety of negative ones.
I used to rationalize that I was saving myself from heartache.
If I don’t get my hopes up, I won’t be let down.
But if I’m always in the pit, will I ever see the light above me?
* * *
One day, I finally grew tired of hurting.
I saw that this isn’t who I am; it’s what I’ve become.
Negativity defined me in more ways than I realized.
It was how I was seeing myself and the world around me.
I wasn’t optimistic about anything anymore.
I thought that I was saving myself from pain by living in it.
Keeping your expectations low does not rescue you from heartache.
It creates a different kind of pain.
* * *
I’m done allowing myself to ruin the positivity in my life.
I’m going to be hopeful and optimistic.
I want to look for the best in people … including myself.
I want to forgive … AND forget.
This is a journey that I’m confidently beginning.
What is my goal?
TO BE FREE.
Thank you so much for reading! The words I have shared with you above is the prayer that’s on my heart today. It’s a task that I’m taking upon myself and putting my all into because I want to be happy again. I want to be an optimistic, hopeful person, without investing all of my happiness in things that can change.
Being content with who I am, along with the way that other people are, is something I need to do. I can be excited for something without emotionally needing it to happen. I can smile at strangers and greet them without worrying if they’ll greet me back.
It’s a process, and I’m learning so much. ❤ I hope you have a beautiful day!